Saturday, October 20, 2007

Greg Bishop for President

I've been having a friendly little tete-a-tete with Alfred Lehmberg in the comments section to the post Dear God - I'm a Lefty!. The jist of it, at least from my side of the aisle, is that there is a marked lack of bi-partisanship on both sides of the political fence in the United States (and, sadly, in Canada as well these days).

My suggestion is simple - the United States needs a third party along the lines of the United Kingdom's Raving Monster Loony Party.

Now, the obvious candidate for President for such a party in the United States would be Nick Redfern, the king of off-the-wall cryptozoology currently living in that country (apologies to Loren Coleman, but he's from Maine, a state with no electoral clout). Alas, Nick wasn't born in the United States, so he can never be President.

Fear not, intrepid readers, for there is a perfectly good candidate waiting in the wings - Greg Bishop!

Unlike Coleman, Greg is from a state that matters when it comes to the electoral college - California.

Unlike Redfern, Greg is an American citizen, born and bred.

Like both Coleman and Redfern, Greg has spent a fair amount of time studying monsters, and he's certainly hung out with plenty of loons.

Best of all, Greg takes a truly bi-partisan point of view when it comes to all things paranormal. He keeps an open mind, and is willing to listen to all arguments, after which he generally makes an informed decision that, even if you disagree with it, you can still respect it.

Thus do I officially nominate Greg Bishop for President of the United States of America.

Now all we need is a party name, and a running mate, and the campaign can begin in earnest!

Let's start with the running mate...

Who should be nominated as Greg Bishop's running mate for President?
Mac Tonnies
Alfred Lehmberg
Lesley Gunter
Timothy Binnall
Richard Dolan
Jim Marrs
James Moseley
Kenn Thomas
A. J. Gulyas
Royce Myers III
Free polls from

And thus begins a paradigm shift in American politics!

Paul Kimball


Loren Coleman said...

Apparently you are unaware of the expression "As goes Maine, so goes the nation"?

Several great politicos have come from Maine, such as George Mitchell, Margaret Chase Smith, George Bush, and Edmund S. Muskie.

I can't believe you nominated a Brit over an American, and then rejected me because I live in Maine. After all, I was born in Virginia (as were many Presidents), raised in Illinois, lived in California and Massachusetts, and have resided in the "San Francisco of the East," Portland, Maine, since 1983.

Also, I'm on television docs a lot, so that's free publicity for our slate of candidates.

Take back what you said about Maine, and do a little research!!

Red Sox Nation rules.

Paul Kimball said...


Worthy as the people you mention were, there's never been a President from Maine (a state I love, and have spent a good bit of time in over the years) - Bush doesn't count, because he wasn't from Maine when elected. 'Nuff said.

I'm sure Greg would choose you for a senior cabinet post - like Muskie, perhaps you can serve as Secretary of State... although as Secretary of the Interior, you could really devote some resources to the search for Bigfoot.

And Nick wasn't nominated. He doesn't qualify!

Long live the Red Sox nation!


Nick Redfern said...


Greg for prez? That's not a bad idea at all! And he'd tell us the truth about UFOs when he got elected too!

Can you imagine the look on the faces of the Men in Black at NSA, CIA etc when they have to spill the secret UFO beans to a ufologist-president? Oh, to be a fly on the wall at that presidential briefing!!

Paul Kimball said...


Yes, Greg would make a fine Prez.

The big question is who his running mate will be. Looks like Tonnies is off to a good start in the early going...

Loren Coleman said...

What kind of logic are you using?

"There's never been a President from Maine."

I hate to point this out, but there's not been a third party candidate who has been President for decades, either.

Maine has produced Vice Presidents, and Maine has produced third party candidates. Your exclusion of a Mainer is highly biased and has nothing to do with any sort of fair call to the people.

It is apparent you are a tool of the CIA and NSA, only interested in installing a reptilian of your choice into office, since Queen Elizabeth is not available.

Besides, I'm part Native American, and I may get the ACLU involved in this, as well as the League of Bigfoot Researchers International and the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, to investigate the slanted nature of this nomination process.

Paul, aren't you Canadian?

Alfred Lehmberg said...

It's an outrage!

Mine is the only url link not completing its circuit. What strange 'eevilll' is being prosecuted here? What betrayal of the new 'tradigeny' is erecting its dark tower and fashioning it's rings of power even as I poke these tentatively fearful words?

Indeed, how are the concepts of the fairness doctrine, debate, and equal time remotely served in this unconscionable effrontery of the aggregate netiquette. Is this the new terror where urls are second-guessed? A real shorts soiler, sure!

This is even as "Current Occupant" distracts the otherwise distracted, if well-meaning, from his egregiously duplicitous authoritarianism with empty pledges of a quest for Mars. His corporate handlers remain to allow China to beat the US and Canada back to the moon.

"Up knee-ent prospector, woof your wings for all they're worth..."

...Which says it all, really, when you think about it...

Now... what's up with that url, Paul? ...And consider your answer carefully.

[ Jeremy get's it...]
>> AVG Blog --
>>> U F O M a g a z i n e --

Loren Coleman said...

It appears that Alfred's remarks may be funnier and more loony than my tongue-in-cheek comments.

Since I only rated being made into a yardstick related to electoral votes and do not even get an honorable mention VP spot for votes, I will now humbly withdraw from this campaign.

Besides, I am way too much farther left than the lot of you, and I would have to put you all in the ringwing of the cabinet anyway.

Have a wicked good election,
(who doesn't need to put a website url because all the stalkers seem to have no trouble finding me)

Paul Kimball said...


I view you as beyond politics, kind of like Al Gore. Who knows - maybe next year is your year for the Nobel?

As for stalkers, they never have any trouble finding me, either. ;-)


Loren Coleman said...

Thank you, Paul, although I've been told by several women that I'm more handsome than Al Gore.

For those who are reading these exchanges, worrying, or who don't understand my sense of humor, fear not, Paul and I go way back, and there are no ill feelings from this side of the border to his.

I remember him when he was no higher than to the knees of a grasshopper, when we were talking about the Sea Serpents of Nova Scotia. Or was that a clone? Ah, the good ole days. Kangaroos in Nova Scotia and all that.

Onward friends with your voting, and out with the bad ones and in with your new future lame ducks.

As to stalkers, why is it all the ones that do find us aren't the kind we want to know?

Paul Kimball said...


Re: stalkers - exactly so. I've always wanted to be stalked by Kate Winslett! :-)


Greg Bishop said...

Some are called to greatness..

I've been away from the computer for a couple of days (gasp) and didn't see this until this morning (Sunday.)

I suppose that I accept your single-handed nomination and will set about constructing a platform of omni-partisanship.

As Loren implies, Paul is most assuredly a tool of the "alphabet soup" conspiracy, and it's logical that he would nominate someone who is obviously working for one secret agency or another.

Nick is probably higher in the command structure than I, but he's not a citizen. When California's governor is nominated for the 2012 ticket, it will be Nick's turn (if I don't get a second term.)

Campaign donations in any multiple of $1000 can be mailed to me or deposited in my paypal account.

Mac said...

Campaign donations in any multiple of $1000 can be mailed to me or deposited in my paypal account.

As Greg's potential running mate, it's only fair that I get some of that money. For campaign purposes, of course.

Paul Kimball said...


Of course... if you're nominated.


Greg Bishop said...

Name ideas:

The Raving Monster Alien Party
The Not an Owl Party
The MJ-12 Party
The Nothing to Disclose Party

And a campaign slogan:

"He's the leader you'd want to take them to!"

NickJones said...

I vote for The Not an Owl Party, as a-flip-of-the-bird to my 'favorite' nemesis, Joe Pennysworth - er,Nickell.

Speaking of The MJ-12 Party, I wonder what their Christmas parties must be like...if we snuck in when they were well pickled, we might hear and see some interesting things....

Loren Coleman said...

Late bulletin: Paul will be seeking therapy to make certain he does not stalk Christina Cuffari.


Great Red Sox Sweep!!

Paul Kimball said...


At least I'd be stalking humans, and not Bigfoot! ;-)

Hurrah Sox!